Sunday, December 26, 2010

Funny Stories

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding ...



Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding .
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: I lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up.  Within minutes five police cars circle them.  A senior officer slowly approaches the car.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the boot of your car, please.
The woman opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!
Don't Mess With Old Ladies




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